Imposter Syndrome: Tchaikovsky’s “failure”, the Fifth Symphony

Even at the apex of his creative powers, Tchaikovsky often experienced bouts of self-doubt, as evidenced in his extensive letters.  Nadia Sirota, violist creator of the Peabody Award-winning podcast Meet the Composer, speaks with Pulitzer Prize-winning composer Ellen Reid and Conductor of the Boston Pops Keith Lockhart about Tchaikovsky’s battle with imposter syndrome, the creative process, and “making it” in creative industries.   Featuring examples from Tchaikovsky’s letters, such as this excerpt, about the fifth symphony:    My new symphony was played twice in Saint Petersburg and once in Prague. I am convinced that this symphony is not a success. There is something so repellent about such excess, insincerity and artificiality… With each day that passes I am increasingly certain that my last symphony is not a successful work, and the realisation that it is unsuccessful—or perhaps that my powers are declining—is very distressing to me. The symphony is too colourful, massive, insincere, drawn out and on the whole very disagreeable ... Am I indeed, as they say, written out? ... If so, then this is terrible. Whether my misgivings are mistaken or not, regrettably I have concluded that the symphony written in 1888 is poorer than the one written in 1877.   The event will open with a brief performance by a member of the BSO.